Discovering More About “Loving Our Neighbor”

“The essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others.”

~ Thich Nhat Hahn

This summer we were at a camping retreat in the Rangely Lakes just north east of us, here in Maine.  Our group chose to contemplate the essence of the teaching of St. Frances.  It was a great opportunity for all of us to be with the life of someone who  lived what Thich Nhat Hahn referred to above.

Near the end of the retreat, we were sitting by the lake reading an article on compassion.  The author revealed a deeper meaning of compassion and loving our  neighbor.  He said, “… the self-denial necessary for compassionate living, for recognizing and responding to the suffering of others, isn’t necessarily a heroic self-giving, a complete divestment. For me, at least, it’s more often going to be the daily, almost hourly, dying to my own childish preferences and shallow agendas that keep me from being fully available to others and to God.  When I’m blinded by my need to have things my way, how can I, in Nhat Hahn’s words, “recognize the physical, material, and psychological suffering of others”? (by Roger Owens in “Weavings” Journal)

We both realized that the message in this article was for us.  We have been given so much in the preparation for our trip to Africa.  This message fine tunes the way in which we relate with each other on a daily basis.  Are we willing to surrender our own preferences to then be empty and open to receive the true direction and “lead from our Heart” as St. Francis did in his mission?  We each have a strong independence and have our own sense of guidance from our Heart.  Working out things at home is one thing, but traveling in a foreign country is another.  

When we went on with the article, the author revealed a process to use in the moment, when our preferences are up and conflicting:

Breathing in, I see my attachment to ___________ (fill in the blank)

Breathing out, I let go of my attachment to ____________.

Breathing in, I see my neighbor.

Breathing out, I love my neighbor. 

We have used this process a number of times as we were making choices in the final preparations for our trip to Africa.  One such example had to do with how to keep safe as we travel in Africa.  When we applied the process a number of suggestions were revealed — Staying with the feeling “all is well” and also “having a dependable and well recommended driver.”  We realized that the Bradshaws, who now live in Mityana, Uganda, will be introducing us to a driver and translator, as well as other friends they have come to know well in Mityana — this is our “bubble of safety and reliability.”  We realized that it would be essential to rely on our “bubble” when we travel away from Mityana to Rwanda later in our trip.  

This process has also worked very well with some basic choices in our daily lives.   Each time we’ve discovered a choice that was no longer interrupted by our preferences, but a choice or direction coming from the Heart of God.  Also, we have found we are more available to each other in a more compassionate and sensitive way.

So, we are right down to the nitty gritty of preparing for this trip.  Two more weeks to go.  Thanks for being with us each step of the way.

Blessings to you, dear friend,

Elizabeth & Steve

Ubuntu

One evening, just recently, we had a couple over for dinner.  They were from Burundi, Africa.  As the evening progressed, we talked about our going to Africa and they began discussing something very important for us to hear — “Ubuntu.”  We felt to share it with you as we continue to awaken to it’s full meaning in our own lives.  This information was collected mostly from a communication by Jen Boudreau in “Words to Live By.”

A person with Ubuntu is welcoming, hospitable, warm and generous, willing to share. Such people are open and available to others, willing to be vulnerable, affirming of others, do not feel threatened that others are able and good, for they have a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that they belong in a greater whole. They know that they are diminished when others are humiliated, diminished when others are oppressed, diminished when others are treated as if they were less than who they are. The quality of Ubuntu gives people resilience, enabling them to survive and emerge still human despite all efforts to dehumanize them.”

Desmond Tuttu elaborates further on this ...

“One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu – the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can’t exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can’t be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality – Ubuntu – you are known for your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole World. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.” 

So, now we know why we are going to Africa.  We have a lot to learn from these beautiful people.

When we shared this with Mom just recently she said, “Wouldn’t it be lovely if the whole world had “Ubuntu.”  Yes, Mom, it would.