Being Neighbors

“It is in giving that we receive.”

This line is from the prayer attributed to St. Francis.  A profound and poetic prayer.  This line lingers as we come home. 

We didn’t go on a “Mission” trip to give money and enlightenment to the lost and needy.  We went to Africa to be in relationship with people of a different background.  We went with openness and availability, seeing to be neighbors and to stretch our definition of the word “Neighbor.”  

It has been an amazing time of giving and receiving, often so intertwined as to confound any labelling of who is the giver and who is the receiver.

Our first “neighbors” were Chuck and Beth Bradshaw, who invited us to stay in their home in Uganda for a week.  A week turned into four weeks as they shared their home, their knowledge of culture and pragmatics, their food.  We received.  We helped them pack for their departure after a three year mission there.  We witnessed the results of their work and provided validation and perspective, and hosted them for a brief respite before their final week.  We gave. 

We met Henry Ssebagala, who was quick to run errands, assist in a bit of woodworking I was doing.  Unlike many, Henry asked for nothing in return.  He did open his heart in a very natural way and share parts of his life.  We received.  After many days we helped to pay for some needed dental work.  We gave.

Henry just sent us this picture ... he is getting used to a new smile ...

Next, we moved to a boarding school which houses about 70 orphans.  We were treated like a king and queen with all of our needs attended to.  When Elizabeth was ill, the children ministered to her every need when she was awake, and quietly checked in on her when she was asleep.  We received.  When we became aware that may had no shoes, than some had been abandoned by parents unable to support them, we gave.

Next, we travelled by bus to Rwanda.  A friend from Portland had arranged for her niece to meet us at the bus station.  And, in our correspondence with her we shifted our plan from staying in a hotel to staying in a B & B she was starting.  Passy and her friend Jacques were to become our closest neighbors on our trip.

Jacques and Passy accompanied us everywhere we wanted to go, driving us to see local music, introducing us to many members of their community.  Whenever we expressed curiosity about something, they made sure we were able to experience it.  Ugali, an African delicacy, is a starchy hand food used to dip into other types of food.  We asked, they provided.  We received over and over.  They are a part of a community that lost their parents in the Genocide twenty two years ago.  They were in need of encouragement and validation by elders.  We gave.  And will continue these relationships.

Our most concrete goal of this trip was to help the mother of a friend of ours from Portland.  Her mother, two sisters and two nephews, had to flee Burundi for their life.  They were in a refugee camp in Rwanda, 250 km from where we were staying, and her mother had several serious health concerns and hoped to help her secure a medical visa to receive treatment in the U.S.  After two days of meetings at the U.S. Embassy in Kigali, it was clear that this was not going to happen.  We failed.

We still went to visit them in the refugee camp.  In delivering the news that a medical visa was not possible, the loss of hope for her was overwhelming.  Nevertheless we sat together, in a 8X8 ft home and we prayed together.  The bearer of bad news prays for hope.  For two hours we were neighbors, and this remains true.

We have learned that being neighbors is giving and receiving freely.  Often it is unclear whether we are giving or receiving — just that we are open and present — the spirit moves where it will.  We have learned that being neighbors doesn’t end when we return home.  Otherwise it is just a game.  Once a neighbor relationship is formed, there is a responsibility to the neighbor both ways.

So, we are here in our home in Maine filled to overflowing with the blessings received from our trip to Africa after having a quiet time in Assisi, Italy.  We will have more to share with you as we continue to give and receive with our new neighbors.  This communication through this blog has felt to be a deep connection with you, our dear friends, we have felt you with us each step of the way.  

To be continued …

Much Love,

Steve & Elizabeth